I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
