I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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