If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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