Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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