Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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