Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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