He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
