New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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