You're so nebulous sometimes
Sponge bath it is.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
