Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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