Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
