How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
