I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
