OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
