you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize