you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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