okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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