I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
