You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
