Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
