You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
