I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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