you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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