I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.