belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
wat bout pragnant strippers??
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".