ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dating After Heartbreak
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"