Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
should my penis look like a turkey
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.