She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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