her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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