youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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