Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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