Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
