never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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