drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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