Whod you bang
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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