I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize