You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
