I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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