dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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