Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize