Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
