i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
