i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
