Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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