in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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