so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is wine microwaveable?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
