I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.