Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?