Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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