Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
