i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize