do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
