i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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