You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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