Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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