how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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