thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
