I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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