I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
