I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
