I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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