You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
