i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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