We're facebook friends in real life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
