i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
