would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
