He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm like, not good at living.