yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!