I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.