Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
