it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.