Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
