i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
